Special Edition Posting: The "D" Words

Some random thoughts: Dieting and Dating

Disclaimer: This is not meant to be preachy or to give the impression that I at all know anything about dieting or dating. I am a fan of alliteration - I don’t know why, I just love when there is a play on words that all start with the same letter and yes I realize that I’m a geek. But I digress.
The other day while I was writing in my food and activity journal I was thinking about the word dieting (and lately I've been thinking a lot about how long its been since I dated anyone seriously) and it occurred to me that dieting and dating are similar in a few ways. Then I laughed because dieting…dating there goes that alliteration I love. And I kept thinking about how the two are related and ever so similar.
So there you have it, that is where this “Special Edition Post” comes from. I’m sure this is no great revelation and that there are many people who have come to the following conclusions, but I thought I would share some of what I came up with. Mostly though, I am writing this because simply put, it just made me laugh.

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So here we go in no particular order:

1) We diet so that we can feel and or look more attractive thus making it easier to date. But dating can be stressful and at times heartbreaking which usually ruins a diet. And (we've all done this) once we get into a relationship, we get comfortable and slowly stop doing the things we did for our “dating diet”. Then the “diet” goes out the window…It’s a vicious circle.

Mostly I included this picture because it is the vicious cycle of dieting and dating (Diet/Date, Famine Response, Fall Off, Feast Response, Repeat).

2) When dieting, we usually “go without” the bad stuff. But then we get that craving because its been so long and we end up gorging ourselves on the bad stuff. It’s the same with dating…go too long without and you jump feet first, eyes closed(even though you know you’re doing it) into something with the bad stuff. And by the way, this is goes for women AND men.

3) Dating the right person is like eating the right foods. You want it to be mostly good and healthy, but you can’t live on a sugar free, sodium free, fat free, low carbs, high protein diet for the rest of your life-its just not healthy. Your body needs a little sugar, a little sodium, some fat (and yes there are good fats in food), carbs and protein to function properly. Sometimes bad is good for you. Same with the “right” person - they can’t be totally perfect (you’re not so why should they be??). They have to have some bad qualities. It’s all about moderation and finding the right balance for your health (in both dieting and dating). I guess the keyword is…moderation in both dieting (which is really a horrible word because we say that we are “going on a diet” which implies temporary change in habits until we get to the desired outcome) and dating. A nice mixture of good and bad keeps us healthy and happy. And bad is not always well…bad for us.

4) In the beginning of a diet we are totally excited and committed to making it work…this time. The time before was just a trial run, a practice to figure out what doesn't work for you. Then after the first couple of weeks go by you realize that you actually have to work at dieting and weight loss, you have to make some long term lifestyle changes not just superficial ones, reality sets in and the glow of this “new you” that you’re going to become fades a bit (usually life gets in the way). Its kinda the same with relationships (and new cars)…its great and fun and shiny in the beginning. You’re getting to know each other, the sex is great ‘cause its with someone new, there’s new stories to hear, new restaurants to try and new friends to meet. Then after some time, the new wears off and you realize that you actually have to work at being in a relationship, you have to make some long term lifestyle changes not just superficial ones, reality sets in and the glow of the honeymoon period fades a bit.

Hope this made you laugh a little.

Week 1

Here is the update for this week...

I have started a food and activity journal to keep track of what I'm eating and what exercising/activity I do each day. So far its been easier than I thought it would be to keep track of everything. The "journal" is just a small notebook so its easy to take with me wherever I go. I haven't done a lot to change the food that I eat. Mostly right now I'm trying to have smaller meals more often (difficult when you teach and there's only small breaks in between classes). I need to get better about packing something and bringing it to school because there aren't a lot of healthy alternatives to purchase at school. Choices tend to be sweets and pastries-neither of which is good for someone changing their eating habits.

As for activity, this week has been a bit rough. By the time I get home from school I don't want to go back out in the very cold temperatures we've been having so I've just been doing strengthening workouts in my apartment. These workouts are great! They are 8 minute stretch, abs, arms, legs and buns videos from the 90s. The leader is decked out in his best spandex jumpsuit and he's completely over the top and my workout buddy Sarah and I spend most of the workout laughing at his wondrous cheesiness and our own inability to do the exercises well (especially the abs workout-we are pathetic!) But each time I do the videos they get a little easier. I usually feel it two days later, but its just a reminder that its working muscles that need to be worked.

My goal for this week is to actually get outside for some cardio. I know I need to start building that because its not great at all. I found a really great (free) podcast that a guy put together as part of the Couch to 5K that Cool Running has. The program is about conditioning yourself to be able to run (or most likely my case jog) a 5K after 9 weeks. The guy who created the podcast set it up in 9 separate podcasts one for each week. In each he prompts you when to shift from a walk to a jog/run. Each week the amount of time jogging/running is increased to help slowly condition the body. The first week has more walking with small 60 second sprints...the last week is logically a full jog/run for the whole 5K. I'm excited to get started. Sarah is going to do this with me, but since she is the more experienced runner I'm going to get started on it without her to get me closer to her level before she joins me.

So we'll see how this coming week goes!

The photographic evolution of Becca

This post is simply a few photographs of me since 2007 when the weight really started packing on to now.

I will begin by showing what is traditionally my favorite pose-I hide behind the person I am with in some kind of cute way so that my body is not showing! I am well versed in how to do this. These are both in 2009 (left-October / right-August)

2007

These pictures are from October/November when my friends took me to Disneyland for my 30th birthday. Most of the time I had to ride the amusement rides alone because there was not enough room for me and another. But it was still a great celebration!!

2008

Starting out the new year in England with friends January 2008

Camping trip on the coast of California with my closest friends May 2008

Disclaimer: No I'm not married-this was a theme party that my friend Josh and I put on in May 2008.

September 2008 another themed party. Finding a costume was tough because the theme was pimps and hoes. I was too big to comfortably go as a "ho" so I opted for a pimpette but even that was hard to find so I finally went with a plus size pimp costume and added accessories.

October 2008-wedding for a great friend. I was so glad I was able to wear a black dress for that event cause as you all know-its soooo slimming. The girl in the middle is the sister of the bride and my best friend who is getting married this year.

My graduation from Graduate School in December 2008

2009

February 2009 I participated in my second fire walk(the picture is me with one of the instructors). Phenomenal experience and part of the reason I finally accepted that I was leaving America and letting go of a sad and drawn out breakup.

St.Patrick's Day celebration March 2009

My going away party 2 days before leaving America June 2009

And now to my Peace Corps life: the following pictures are from my first summer in Moldova (June-August 2009)

First days in Moldova (June 2009)

A trip to a monastery (July 2009) where women have to wear scarves and skirts (to this point, I hated wearing skirts because I always felt even bigger in a skirt and didn't think I was feminine enough to wear a skirt or dress)

Picnic celebration July 2009 (Notice the pillow like quality of my breasts!)

Farewell lunch and celebration for host families (August 2009)

Activity day with some of the village kids August 2009

August 2009 helping my new host mom make tomato juice (by the way, my apron is a table cloth!)

October 2009 celebrations at my school (Halloween and my School Director's birthday)

Making Thanksgiving dinner for a big gathering of volunteers (November 2009)

2010

Starting the new year in Spain (January 2010)

Spent Easter in Vienna with friends (April 2010). This was the first flight that I didn't have to ask for a seat belt extension. What a wonderful feeling!!!

May 2010 at a BBQ with a friend and his host family

Helped with training new volunteers in June 2009. Dress code was business casual, but the summers here can get so hot that I have found I actually prefer skirts to pants (this alone speaks volumes about what a little weight loss can do to a person's perspective)

July 2010 Picnic with new volunteers

Trip to Odessa, Ukraine in August 2010. Lots of beach time and swimming in the Black Sea which meant bathing suit time. Not a fat girls favorite thing. But I realized after this trip that I was much more confident with myself because I allowed photographic evidence of me in a bathing suit and because of a late night/early morning swim we had in our underwear

Coasting on some new confidence from the summer, I have become more willing to wear dresses and skirts to work (September 2010 and October 2010)

I now am more willing to do silly poses not thinking about how fat I look in pictures (taken October 2010). Although, this does illustrate that I have gained a little back (layers of clothes during the cold winters do not help one appear slimmer though)

November 2010 helping with a presentation for some of the English Educators

Out with friends November 2010

New Year's celebrations back in America during my visit home December 2010

The Beginning

While the first post was what motivated me to create this blog, this post is all about the purpose and content of the blog.

The Purpose:

• To hold me accountable
• To record my progress
• To keep track of how I go about get healthier (and looking good in a dress)
• To learn from mistakes along the way
• To learn from successes along the way
• To vent my frustrations
• To shout to the world my triumphs
• To see my progress in pictures (I found that to be the most startling when looking at pictures from even a year ago compared to picture of me now)
• To motivate me
• To keep me honest

The Content: What you'll see here

• Lots of pictures
• Journal type entries recounting what I've done in a week (e.g. activities, food, thoughts and emotions)
• Funny anecdotes (I love to laugh at myself and I have the feeling that it will happen a lot in this)
• Honesty (sometimes brutally so)
• Links to websites or articles I find interesting

A little about me:

In my previous post I mentioned briefly a drastic life change that occurred a little over 18 months ago, which for everyone who knows me knows that I was referring to joining the Peace Corps and moving my life for 27 months to a foreign country. This experience has been life changing in so many ways mentally, emotionally and physically.

In some ways I have gained a lot of confidence and acceptance in who I am, partly due to losing weight, but mostly due to pushing my personal boundaries and having to let go of my preconceptions about EVERYTHING. I've learned when to step back and let others lead the way and when I can step forward. I've also learned to put trust in people who I have only known for a short period (kind of comes with the territory when you are surrounded by nothing familiar). I think this of everything I've learned here has helped give me confidence because in putting myself in the hands of others somehow I've also let go of needing to have everyone like and accept me. Its ok if someone doesn't love everything about me and its ok if I don't love everything about someone else. Also, people are not always gonna be happy or agree with something I think, say, do or write...and guess what, that's ok too! We can still be friends and not agree. While I realize this is not an earth shattering revelation and I'm sure that there are many people in the world who already know this, it was new for me to actually believe it for myself. With this new found "I don't care what you think of me" attitude, I give you the facts that I have not shared with people because I was too self conscious and didn't want to admit it.

One thing I've noticed over the years while attempting to lose weight is that in so many ways its all about The Numbers. How many pounds do you weigh? What is your BMI number? How many inches is your bustline? your hips? your waist? How many inches have you lost/gained? How many pounds have you lost/gained? How many calories are you eating in a day? how many grams of fat, protein, carbohydrates are in that one itty bitty bite? How many minutes/hours per week are you exercising? How many repetitions can you do? You get the idea.

Well, in my spirit of honesty, here are some of my numbers:

Weight when I left America (June 2009): 372 lbs (the largest I've ever been)

Clothing size when I left America (June 2009): size 30

Weight now (January 2011): 290lbs (up a little from my lowest weight here of 281 lbs)

Clothing size now (January 2011): size 22

Weight loss to date: 82lbs

Clothing size loss to date: 4 sizes

Goal weight by the time I leave in July 2011: 245lbs

Goal clothing size by the time I leave in July 2011: size 18

There you have it. Check out the next post-its my photographic evolution for the last 4 years.

Blame it on weddings and Yahoo.com

I blame the creation of this blog on Yahoo.com and an article I read about people who used blogs as a way of losing weight, staying accountable to their weight loss and as a forum for keeping track of what they were doing, venting frustrations, and letting others follow/join their journey.

I also blame Steve Z! Oh yes, I am calling you out Steve!! Confused?? Well follow my complete lack of logic on this....you decide to propose to my best friend (of which I am incredibly happy and excited about). This of course leads to thoughts of weddings (when will the wedding be, where will the wedding be, who will be in the wedding, what dress will the bride wear, what will the colors be, what will the groom wear and for me as a bridesmaid-what will the maid of honor and bridesmaids wear). I love my best friend and am willing to wear whatever makes her happy. It could be a San Francisco Giants orange taffeta bow extravaganza such as this

and I would happily wear it...for her. Luckily she is not asking us to go that route. But I am a big girl so thoughts of bridesmaid dresses kinda make me break out in a cold sweat. I want to look good and feel comfortable in any dress (hideous or beautiful).

I have lost quite a bit of weight over the last 18 months, about 85lbs. Not because I have conscientiously tried, but drastic life changes tend to aid (sometimes hamper) in jump starting that. But I'll get to the drastic life change later. Back to my weight loss so far. Because my weight loss was attributed mostly to a huge increase in walking and change in eating habits I've dropped the weight, but the skin is still loose. Now in my normal day to day clothes I can cover this up, but in a sleeveless or strapless bridesmaid dress-not really. Now I know what you all are thinking "But Becca, you can always use a shawl or wrap or shrug." And logically I know you are right, but I hate that look especially when I am the only one wearing it. I'm not really into being the one who stands out in a crowd or photo for that matter (which I think is why I'm usually behind the camera documenting the world around me without me in it).

How does this all lead to the creation of this blog? Well, my best friend is getting married sometime this year after I get home and I would like to feel comfortable in whatever dress she chooses. This is her day and it should look the way she wants it. Again, I know what you are thinking..."Becca you shouldn't lose weight just to fit into a dress. Weight loss is a way of life, it can't be for just one event." And you are correct. I am simply using this one event as an ass kicker to continue what I started 18 months ago. For the last 18 months I have been a passive participant in my weight loss, but that only gets you so far. Eventually you plateau which is what I have done. Now I have to be an active participant and this blog is one of many steps I am taking.

This post is simply the explanation. The next post will be the beginning!

And a special note to my best friend: Do not take this as something against you. You have inspired me to get off my butt and do something I've been talking and thinking about for too long now but have been too lazy and self conscious to follow through with. You are my catalyst!!