5 Goals Smashed into Stone

For many of us in this crazy world, interests come and go. We see something that piques our interest, swear we will do that someday, and end up forgetting about it. A great example of this would be reading an inspirational article about something you like (ie cooking, fitness, etc) and wanting to do that activity too. We forget to actually follow through a lot of the time though. What is great about being adventurous and liking to try new things is that we are not actually limited to ONE thing! Crazy, right? So how do we determine real goals versus an artificial one.

I have found that writing down any resolutions you make to be the most potent. I have mentioned it before that this is a fantastic way of revisiting your goals and keeping you fixated on them. I would recommend having a list of five things written down on a piece of paper (better yet, have a few copies) and placing them somewhere you will visit often...by often I mean at least 2-3 times a day. This could be the fridge, bathroom, car or any place that you go often enough to have an effect. This will keep you honed in on what you want to accomplish. And these don't necessarily have to be specifically a weight loss goal, just goals of things you would like to get started on or focus in for the next three to six months.

Now goal-setting is an art of its own. Through my place of occupation, I learned of an awesome acronym that helps with goals and keeping them as strong and attainable as possible. The 5 guidelines to making goals  are:

Specific- General goals don't work. If you wanted to travel, be specific on WHERE you want to travel.
Measurable- Numbers keep us focused. If you want to lose weight, get an idea of where you want to go.
Attainable- Unrealistic goals are caustic. Set your sights on goals that are feasible in a given time frame.
Stretching- Although we want realistic goals, we also want to get out of our comfort zone a bit.
Harmonious- Sacrificing self and soul for a goal is harmful. Obtaining your goal should feel good.

An example goal would be as follows: I want to lose 10 pounds in a month by eating 2 healthy meals per day and incorporating 3 weekly exercise routines into my schedule.

This goal has all the qualities of SMASH, will keep you focused, and you will know if you have been maintaining it because there are rules for accomplishment. A whole bunch of genius all balled into one concept. If you want to be even MORE specific, be my guest. I try to make the goals still simple enough to understand without muddling them with crazy rules.

Diet Whiplash

There is no better feeling after taking the plunge into a diet than getting some results. Immediately you feel lighter, stronger, and suddenly you seem to catch your reflection more often (cause you're damn sexy). Let's face it, we get an ego boost once we decide to make a big change and stick to it. But here is the caveat about this high we get, if we start to fall off the wagon, then there is an equal and opposite reaction that hits you. It is unforgiving and mean. It will kick you in the face, tell you you're ugly, and compel you to stop your journey. I coined this phenomenon "Diet Whiplash".

It can happen after a party, a big dinner, or a fun-filled weekend, but nonetheless you are left feeling a bit empty and depressed because of the lack of fervor for your diet regimen (and workout schedule). You start to look at yourself in the mirror and don't get that incredible sense of empowerment, it's the opposite. The "id" voice comes in and tells you that you're ugly or fat, whatever your insecurities are, they seem to stick out more. To be frank, it sucks and we have ALL been here at some point, just maybe not have articulated or voiced too well.

There is hope though! This is actually a biological response that you can overcome. When we diet, your body will start to change on the inside. If you started working out as well, this effect can be compounded. The thing is, your body likes to hold onto its current shape. In the wild, being overweight has its advantage: survival. Biologically your body is saving for starvation even though in our 1st world mindset, that probably will not happen. So your body reacts in multiple ways to get you to stay the same. It will tell you that what you're doing is wrong and to stop getting rid of the excess fat. But wait, we get endorphin highs from working out and dieting right? My answer: Your body sometimes hates you and pulls you in two directions at once.

It is easy to ignore this voice in the back of your head when you are focused and doing well on your journey o' health. The times it comes out is after the aforementioned stumbles. Ignore this voice! Do not give in to its demands! And also, do NOT step on the scale (it is the "id" voices ally in this endeavor). The reason I say no scale is because you WILL have a temporary bump in weight, which causes you to lose even more steam...it can spiral posthaste and you will gain you nothing positive. I know because I have been hit by Diet Whiplash before (and currently handling).

So here is my three step process to overcoming Diet Whiplash (aside from ignoring it and avoiding all local scales for a bit):

1) Write down and tune your goals, again and again.

When we have our goals finely tuned, it sets us up for success. We can omit our goals in an instant if we stop focusing on them. So simply do not lose focus (write them down, put them on the fridge, repeat them out loud to yourself)

2) Look back at what has worked for you.

We are a product of our past actions. This can be used is the battle against falling off the proverbial weight-loss wagon. One of my personal favorite things to do is to look at back on my successful days (I tend to write down what I ate and any exercise done on said days). Whatever you did that made it a successful day, do an encore of it. Was it a certain meal? Exercise? Meeting with a friend to discuss your weight-loss? Dig deep and find the inner happy place, then perform it.

3) Clean yourself. And smile while doing it.

I mean this in both a literal and figurative manner. We all know that feeling after an accomplished shower. This sense of cleanliness has a bunch of positive effects. It leads to feeling good about yourself and will start wrangling you back into that positive place to continue your path to a healthy life. There is a mental addendum to this as well: You must smile while primping yourself, whatever your ritual may be. Think of good things from the past and smile like you did at that time. Visualize it...I have definitely done this and ended up smiling like a goober, but it works. All it takes is a small shift in mentality to set you right.

Diet Whiplash is something we all go through, learning to deal with it will prevent lost time and anguish. Be positive and take control!! Don't hold quarter for the "id", you're WAY cooler than it gives you credit for.

Starting Again

I realize it has been over a year since my last post. In that time I continued to lose weight, then gained weight, then lost weight. The typical cycle that we all struggle with. I also wore the dress and looked pretty damn good in it. The wedding was fabulous and I even managed not to fall down the aisle in the 4" wedges I wore. Great event, great dress (still have it and WILL wear again sometime), great friends and even better memories.

But I found myself creeping back up in the weight department. I did really well this past summer and dropped about 20 pounds with the help of some friends who participated in a 90 day weight loss challenge. It was great, we worked out, we tracked our food and once a week we got together for "family dinners" that were healthy and absolutely delicious. Then of course life gets busy and going to the gym and cooking dinner at home takes a back seat to the demands of work, family, socializing, and sleep.

So, here I am again getting back on track to losing weight. This time I am on this journey with my best friend, Bret. He and I are roommates, gym buddies, kitchen mates, and most importantly each other's cheerleader/motivator/ass-kicker. We have decided that we would both like to eat healthier, feel healthier and look healthier. My mad kitchen skills mixed with his mad gym skills are the perfect combination.

We were recently talking about documenting our journey and losses as a way to keep a journal and hold ourselves accountable. That conversation brought this blog back to life. I'll be covering Monday posts and Bret will cover Friday posts. Although I'm sure we'll have a few thrown in as we think of fun stuff to share.

To start things off, here are the numbers we are beginning with:
Bret
Weight: 230.2
Calf: 16"
Thigh: 24"
Hips: 46.25"
Waist: 42.25"
Chest: 42.5"
Arms: 15"

Becca
Weight: 304.6

Calf: 18"
Thigh: 35"
Hips: 58.5"
Waist: 55"
Chest: 18.5"
Arms: 16"

Watch as our numbers drop! More on Friday

Special Edition Posting: Love-Hate Relationship

My 'Love-Hate' relationship with myself...it's a slippery slope.

We are (usually) our own worst critic. I am definitely no exception. About a month ago I was sitting on a dark balcony enjoying a beer, watching the sunset behind the hills and talking to a really good friend of mine here in Moldova about the friendship I have with a guy that he thinks is unhealthy because of the feelings I previously had for this friend. Dan (with whom I was talking) is a fellow volunteer and one of the best guys I’ve ever known in my life even though he likes to think he’s an asshole. We were talking about my friendship and the evolution of this friendship and he was telling me why he thinks it has gone on as long as it has…his opinion is that I’ve been too nice and that I should just sever all ties and end this friendship that he sees as being primarily one sided and unhealthy especially given that I had feelings that were not reciprocated.

As we talked I could tell he was trying to be honest without hurting my feelings in the expression of his opinion. I simply stated that he should just be open, that I valued his opinion (which I greatly do) and that there wasn’t really anything negative that he could say that I don’t already know or say to myself daily. His “criticisms” were not by any means harsh or mind blowing to me and in fact were actually very kind and seemed to come out of concern for me.

The point of this post is not to focus on what he said but on what I had said… “You can’t say anything negative that I don’t already know or say to myself daily.” So fast forward a month and here I am laying in bed at 12AM not being able to sleep cause I can’t get my brain to shut off. All of a sudden this conversation pops into my head from out of nowhere. Why did I say that to him? I’m not normally that blunt or open with people. I do not like showing or admitting faults to people (even those close to me). I try to put on the face of someone who is typically right, is knowledgeable about things, and looks put together. But I know it’s mostly a lie. Internally I am my biggest, meanest, and worst critic. But I would never admit that…oops-I just did!

So here is the real reason for this. Here is a list of the things I HATE about myself (physically, emotionally and mentally)

Physical Attributes:

1. My saggy arms which makes sleeveless and strapless outfits out of the question
2. My saggy stomach
3. My thighs that jiggle A LOT on the bus rides which travel on incredibly bad, uneven roads
4. My facial hair that is an every other day task to remove (for those not in the know-this commonly occurs in women who are overweight because the accumulated fat increases the amount of testosterone produced thus resulting in more hair growth in places not typically feminine)
5. The fact that I have to wear shorts under skirts/dresses (reason see number 3)
6. My pale, dull skin that easily burns in the sun and breaks out because of the removal of unwanted facial hair which causes the skin to be in a permanent state of irritation
7. Not being photogenic at all
8. Having a horrible singing voice. As a teenager I always imagined that life would be easier looking the way I did/do if only I had a beautiful voice.
9. Not being able to tan easily-thanks to my good Scottish and English genes ha
10. My hair that is too curly to be straight and to straight to be curly which results in frizz most of the time
11. My thin, brittle nails that don’t really grow well
12. My right pinky toenail that doesn’t really grow which means only 4 toenails get painted (something that gets pointed out a lot more than you would think)
13. My thin eyelashes
14. My saggy breasts. I have the family boobs. They are bottom heavy and flat on top which means they are not perky at all without the help of a bra (and losing weight has not helped that at all)
15. My dry heals. I exfoliate and lotion them all the time, but they never look good and I can never get them completely soft.
16. My flat, wide butt. Again, I have the family butt.
17. My one twisted tooth on the top of my mouth. It’s not hideous, but I get called out a lot for not smiling with teeth in pictures. I just don’t like seeing it.

Mental/Emotional Attributes:

1. Not feeling that I am able to keep up or contribute much in an intellectual conversation about just about anything
2. Not being secure enough to walk away from male attention that I know is not going to be good for me
3. Being with someone that I know isn’t right for me, but hey it beats being alone
4. The feeling that I am going to be single for the rest of my life
5. The feeling that being single for the rest of my life is a bad thing
6. Always thinking about what others think about me
7. Not having any idea what I want to be when I grow up
8. Not liking any physical attributes about myself
9. Wishing I looked, spoke, acted like someone else
10. Wanting someone to look at me and get past all the physical defects but still think I’m beautiful
11. Feeling like I am completely asexual to most if not all men
12. Not being able to love myself the way that I (logically) know that I should
13. Not being able to learn a damn foreign language easily (and no this one is not a joke-I really wish I was good at picking up a language)
14. Being too easily distracted by TV
15. Not being more driven (see #11-which is a cause sometimes for #10)
16. Having a horrible memory most of the time
17. Lacking self motivation for losing weight. I know what I need to do, I just don’t do it even though I tell myself “Tomorrow…tomorrow…tomorrow.”

Now, I don’t want you readers to think that I completely hate myself and am on the verge of ending it all. Cause I am nowhere near that and have never contemplated that. Like I said, I am my hardest, biggest, meanest, most overly critical and worst critic. I have this list go through my head almost every minute of every day but I still get out of bed, shower, do my hair, put on make up and try to look my best. Some days are better than others and some days are worse. I don’t hate all of these things about myself everyday. But in general this is my “hate list”. Some of the things on the list I know I can change. They don’t change mostly because its easier to just sit on my ass and lose myself in a movie, book or TV show where the pretty people live.

Like my list of things I hate, I do have a list of things I like or love. It tends to be shorter because we can easily find the bad in things, but we don’t always want to admit the good. And there are a few things on my hate list that are ironically on my like/love list.

Here is a list of the things I LIKE/LOVE about myself (physically, emotionally and mentally)

1. My eyes. I once had someone tell me that he was amazed by the fact that when I smiled he could see it in my eyes even though my lips were no longer smiling. For those who take the time to know me, my eyes will tell you everything you need to know about how I am feeling. I can put on a good show, but my eyes will always give me away. Have never quite mastered the lying with my eyes part.
2. My smile
3. My hair-while its neither curly or straight, it is fairly manageable and easy to style
4. My height. Everyone on my mom’s side is short as hell and that would have made me a short and fat girl. My height helps hide some of the weight.
5. My monkey arms. I love that I have long arms. Being alone most of the time, it makes it easy to reach stuff and they give good hugs.
6. My hugs
7. My laugh-it comes easily and makes me feel better after I have a good one.
8. My tattoos. I drew all of them and they represent my life at various ages.
9. My willingness to stick around when I know I shouldn’t. I hate giving up on people or severing ties even though I know it’s the healthier choice for me.
10. Not having any idea what I want to be when I grow up
11. Caring about people and taking the time to think about them
12. My creativity
13. Standing up for my beliefs
14. Being a ‘mama bear’

I am sure there is more, but for now this is what I can think of. Of course my ‘hate list’ is the longer of the two, but I think that is the same for most people. I guess the point is not to dwell on the ‘hate list’ but it’s so much easier. It’s my excuse for why things have happened in my life. Cause, look at this list of all these bad things about me and that’s why I’m single, or why I only have a few friends, or why I feel like I’m put into this certain category with people. The scary part is what happens if I change those “bad things” and I start taking away the things I hate…I take away the reasons why I think I’m single, or why I think I only have a few friends, or why I think I’m put into this certain category with people.

Week 6-9

Well friends, it's been awhile since I last posted. And I can give you all kinds of excuses, but that's not really the point of this blog. So here is a brief recap of my lack of progress for a variety of reasons.

Week 6: I was back on my feet after being down with the flu and a sinus infection for about 10 days. But the weather here was still really bad and I didn't want to chance doing outside exercising with the freezing temperatures so I decided to go back to my cheesy 90s strengthening videos. Ahh, they were like coming home again. It felt great to be doing something active after such a long time huddled under my blankets while ill.

Week 7: This week saw my feet doing a whole lot of walking for 5 days straight...in Istanbul!! The weather was unexpectedly snowy and cold but that didn't deter us from being the walking mad tourists that we are. We walked all over Istanbul from attraction to attraction through snow, wind and sunshine we were determined to see everything we wanted. I did however indulge in the yummy desserts that Turkey had to offer so on the food front not the healthiest, but the walking and stair climbing did help to offset those calories. (If you want to see some of the pictures from Istanbul, click here!)

Week 8: Back to school after vacation and while the first two days of weather were great, we did see some snow and rain which kept me indoors and huddled under blankets. But I spent that weekend in the south of Moldova at another volunteer's house so there was some walks to be had. And Moldovan food to be eaten that I don't normally get living on my own. On a side note, it was nice that his host mother, who had not seen me in about 7 months, commented on my weight loss. Moldovans love that I am losing weight in their country...it adds to their belief (and with some truth to it) that they have a healthier country than America.

Week 9: So that brings me to this week. Remember how just a moment ago I mentioned eating Moldovan food that I don't normally get to eat?? Well, it took its revenge on my and I was home for three days with intestinal issues. Good news, I'm sure I've lost some weight from lack of eating anything substantial (rice, tea/water and one hard boiled egg each day) but this is not the way I want to lose it.

Spring is making a valiant effort to take over for winter and with more sunlight during the day and warmer temperatures, I'm more motivated to be outside. I hope that my next post for week 10 will be about all the wonderful walks and jogs I took outside. I am also looking forward to fresh fruits and vegetables become cheaper and more readily available now that winter is waning.

Week 5

Still sick. I went into the capital city to visit the doctor. Had the flu and a minor sinus infection so she gave me super strong vitamins to take for 2 weeks and some antibiotics to take for 7 days. After about 3 days of taking those I was feeling human again and very anxious to be out and about. Gonna start back to the exercising a little slow, but ready to get back to it on Monday!

Week 4

Well friends, this will be a short recap of week 4. The temperatures here have been pretty chilly and the weather has not been nice (we even got several inches of snow yesterday), but I did manage to go for a walk/jog on Tuesday. I bundled up in many, many layers and kept my hood on to keep my head warm. However, it was all to no avail...I have been in bed with the flu since late Tuesday night. So unfortunately I have nothing else to report for this week except mmmm, tea and hot showers are good.

But I plan to get back into in again once I'm feeling better. Check in with you next week!